I see myself on a journey of discovery. I feel like after 27 years I am finally coming into touch with who I am and what my soul is comprised of. I am discovering that it is easy to let your life be centered around crap. Crap that just doesn’t matter. My faith and my ideals are leading me to become a person that makes me feel whole. A person who is looking to find how her life can have a greater impact on the common good of society but most importantly on her family and on herself.
This is a long journey. Every day that I discover something new, a new way to live a new way to think I wonder how in the world I functioned without that knowledge or without that guiding compass. I wish to impart to my children the power to think critically and for themselves. The power to reject a majority if that majority does not fall in line with their beliefs and their integrity.
This blog is my attempt to chart my journey and to share my discoveries. My hope to reach out to other families that may be traveling in their own journey so that they know they are not alone. Mostly I want to grow and refine myself line upon line and precept upon precept.
The Nitty Gritty:
My name is Jessica and I am now 31 years old. A lot has happened since I first wrote this introduction and this is me editing it again in 2012. My husband and I are currently separated and going through a divorce. We have three children, two of them together and another due any day. Mikayla is 12 and she lives with her mom. Camden is our first born and she is now 7. Garrett is nearly 4 and they are both expecting a younger brother to appear any day. We live in Eastern Washington in the Tri-Cities. I used to be LDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) but have recently chosen to leave that faith based on extensive research. I have been a stay-at-home mom since my children have been born but have no idea what the future has in store for me at this point. Life right now is just day to day survival.
This blog began in July 2007 but has taken a long hiatus due to life. It was my outlet and a way to look back on my thoughts and our life. I am passionate about learning new things and I enjoy making fun of myself and my ignorance. My goal, of course, is to stop being ignorant. Yes, it’s a lofty goal. I like to research things and write about them. I absolutely love to write. If you read this blog long enough you will notice that even though I love to write grammar and appropriate punctuation are not my specialty (I hear it is enough to drive some people insane…good luck with that). I also enjoy ice-cream, garage sales, sleeping, chocolate, country music, reading, talking, chocolate and chocolate.
So far I love your blog and everything about ya! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
Hey, cool blog. Lisa is my sister and she was telling me about it today, so I thought I’d check it out. I’m loving it!
Hello! My sister-in-law Becky Marriott pointed me towards your blog (apparently you are the wife of the brother of a friend of my brotherinlaw Jake…did you get that ;) because we share common ideals. I feel like we are on the same journey! I feel like the weird one (one of THOSE people) in this family because I’m still nursing at 15 months and I love attachment parenting (including sleep sharing). Anyway, I hope to get to know you better through your blog. Thanks for your wonderful entries! (Are you LDS? “line upon line, precept upon precept”)
Hi Debra! I’m glad you found the site. I definitely know how you feel about being the odd one out in your family. That is certainly me! I’m assuming that Dave is the brother you are connected with, or is it Doug? I am married to Mike. :) I am LDS. Do you have a blog too?
No blog for me. I’m a browser; I love reading other people’s thoughts and most of my time online is spent researching my latest topic. Right now I’m interested in gay animals and the implications for homosexual homo sapiens…especially in light of the proclamation on the family :) Oh goodness, it’s a big and interesting one to tackle.
I don’t know which brother it is. I’m Debra, I’m married to Steve, Steve’s brother is Jake, and Jake is friends with…either Doug or Dave I guess!
Debra, let me know how that one turns out! I’m working on attachment/bonding of family and reclaiming such. Nutrition and food allergies is always stewing on the back burner and my last big research extravaganza was dealing with self-sufficiency (can I be LDS and Amish too? *lol*). Still trying to figure out how to accomplish a root cellar in the South. hehehe.
:)
I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I’d love to add it to my favorites if that is okay?
I found you by doing a search on food dye’s … I have the information about Feingold but I find it somewhat a daunting task. I need to know where to buy the foods that my girls can eat … I truly believe my Audrey has a severe reaction to food dye’s (and even in her bath – she has excema, and another reader posted about bags/circles under the eyes – she gets that as well).
This weekend was unbelievable … my girls were horrendous! Really awful; arguementative and violent. I spent a fortune on ONE easter bunny b/c it didn’t have additives but I’m finding that all of these additives and nasty dyes are in EVERYTHING!
It’s so hard to deprive them of the foods they want .. the colorful cereal; the pop-tarts; the fruit snacks … I think I will have to leave them at home when I go grocery shopping from now on. I can’t risk them seeing all of this stuff and wanting it – instead of the very expensive natural cereals and snacks I try to buy!
Thanks for your site. I will be back! You have a friend in me (and a fellow conspirator to get this junk away from our children). I teach sunday school and I bring in snacks for the kids … no more barbeque potato chips … it’s all natural from now on!
Of course I’d feel honored if you favorited me. :) Yes, it is obnoxious how hard it can be to find some alternatives. I was lucky that my daughter was just a toddler when we discovered her sensitivity so in a way the transition was much smoother. It is a harder transition for me learning that childhood is not ruined by not having these products (my own childhood brainwashing from society) and some planning ahead. I shop at the following places:
Costco
Walmart (i know, i know, bad)
Yokes (kind of like a Top Foods or Haggens)
Fred Meyer (Kroger)
Online
We are not lucky enough to have a Whole Foods or a Trader Joe’s or any of the other stores where it is easier to find products with natural ingredients.
A few products we have found better alternatives for:
Fruit Snacks – At Costco they carry Brach’s TreeTop All Natural Fruit Snacks. It does have corn syrup but no artificial colors or flavors or preservatives. My daughter tolerates these well and we bring them to her primary class at church because before they were giving out regular fruit snacks. (I always provide snacks when we go to activities like this)
Pop Tarts – We recently discovered organic toaster pastries by Nature’s Path at Costco. It does have a paragraph of ingredients but you can understand what all of them are. I wouldn’t consider it a healthy food by any means bu it is USDA organic.
Marshmallows – We order these online. The ones from the store have blue dye in them (go figure). We order from Squirrels Nest which is mentioned in my Halloween in Crunchville post.
Sugar Cereal – For the first time ever I bought my daughter a box of natural cocoa puff cereal from Fred Meyer because they were on sale 2 for $5. A great deal. I bought her one box and she was allowed to eat it like a treat (not for breakfast). It was really good too (I had a bowl).
Food Coloring – We have purchased natural food coloring from India Tree and this has allowed me to make her cupcakes and frosted Christmas cookies, etc. It won’t get you the vibrant primary colors but for me I don’t care.
Sprinkles – We found natural sprinkles too! These were great for her Birthday cupcakes because she wanted sprinkles like she saw in a picture and we bring our own to family ice-cream parties (we also bring our own ice-cream).
Ice Cream – Breyers (the one with the black lids and say all natural) is a pretty good mainstream choice. Walmart carries them for $2.50 for a half gallon here. Where we used to live it was almost $7 for a half gallon.
Chocolate Milk – We make our own. Store bought stuff is filled with artificial ingredients (some even with red #40). Either I melt some milk chocolate chips and whisk it into our raw milk or I use some baking cocoa powder, add a little bit of organic sugar and whisk in the milk. Either we drink it as hot chocolate or refrigerate it and drink it cold. My friend found a big jug of Ghiradelli (sp?) chocolate syrup (all natural) at Cash and Carry. You can also make your own chocolate syrup but I haven’t tried that yet.
Chocolate Chips – We use the Ghiradelli (sp?) brand because it uses real vanilla and not vanillin.
What I’ve learned is that if you look hard enough you can find almost everything in a more natural version. It can take a lot of detective work. The good news is you eat less of the junk, even if it is an “organic” version
I am VERY impressed; are you saying you are only 27! At that age I was still dreaming of an independent, indulgent, extravagant life – and living COMPLETELY for myself.
You are wise beyond your years!
AND I completely AGREE with you! I make my own chocolate syrup (receipe on the back of hershey’s cocoa – which is PURE cocoa) and my girlys LOVE it! I also buy ghiradelli chips (b/c vanilla NOT vanillin) – love those too! Recently stocked up at a Best-Buy sale ($2 a pack).
My girl, my wild child is now fully aware that she is UNABLE to eat red dye and she reminds her Meme, poppop, daddy and the occasional mommy that she is not allowed the stuff!
Love your site! Thanks!
Yep, I am 27 and so is my husband. :)
The scary thing about blogs is there will actually be a record of my thoughts and the things I said and believed and I always wonder if I will look back in 20 years and go, “wow, what were you thinking?” LOL. Or worse, “my mom didn’t have a clue!” LOL
Love the info you are providing! Our daughter began having seizures when she was 2 due to exposure to pesticides. Since then, she has become sensitive to lots of different chemicals. We are still trying to figure our which ones and have recently began eliminating artificial dyes. We are starting a foundation Moms Against Pesticides, so be on the lookout for it in the near future!
Thanks Lori, I look forward to reading about it. I haven’t ever directly researched pesticides before. I’m sure it would be enough to keep me up at night.
I love your website, u really are an inspiration!
ohhh tnq u soo much
This is such a beautiful blog! You are so talented. I didn’t know your kids had health concerns. I am so sorry to hear that. I hope to stay updated. You will be such a great addition to our ward. This is such a pretty blog. How did you create it, it’s amazing! Love, Alicia
This is such a beautiful blog! You are so talented.
Oh my goodness! I just read Garrett’s birth and you kept talking about your amazing midwife. By any chance is she from the Goldendale/TriCities area? because those are the people I am working with preparing for my first baby and at home birth!
It was such a beautiful story.
I stumbled here reading about Raspberry Leaf tea cause I love drinking lots of it :) I loved your well researched write up on it.
Sherry Dress is based out of John Day, Oregon and travels to the Tri-Cities in Eastern Washington for deliveries. I’m so sorry. I wish you meant Tri-Cities Washington. She is the best midwife ever!
Hi I am loving your Blog and I love your idea on the dr kits however went to your two sites that you had mentioned you may sell them on and did not see them am super excited about these kits and would love to purchase one from you . Please let me know one way or the other please. Have a granddaughter that would absolutely love it . Thank you . Deb
I’m sorry Deb, I just saw your comment. I don’t get on this blog as much as I’d like to. I never got around to making these for the public, I just made two kits for my kids. I bought most of the supplies off of Amazon.
Hi. I happened upon your page through searching out natural fever treatments (as I’ve got a two year old currently at 103 degrees). I loved the title of your blog, as I feel we’d have quite a bit in common. I see that you were or are going through a divorce and I just want to say I’m so sorry. I’m praying for you and your sweet babies. Also, I agree, give up ‘religion’, but don’t give up God. He hasn’t given up on you and He never will. He’s not through with you yet. He still has plans for you, great ones! I just wanted to encourage you as a sister in Christ, lean on Him. I’m sorry, I hope I’ve not spoken out of line, I just felt like I needed to tell you you are loved.
Thank you so much, Michelle. I really appreciate it. Our divorce is final now (as of January) and my ex got married within 30 days of our divorce ON my Birthday. Crazy.
But I am so thankful. The experience has been hard on all of us but I know that life is going as it should and I truly love my life and I’m thankful for every minute of it.
As far as religion and God. That has definitely been a struggle. I know God exists but it is really hard to figure out what I believe in now. Still searching and pondering. Once you feel like you’ve been foolish in religion once you are hesitant to be “taken” again. If that makes any sense.
I appreciate your kind words. Have a wonderful day!
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I was so glad to hear back!
That is quite crazy about your ex. I’m very sorry to hear it, and being that it is still very recent, I bet still raw. I’m so sorry. I just love your heart though, and your strength to remain grateful for life. That can be so hard for me.
I was raised (kind of) Catholic, so I completely understand your hesitation to be “taken” by religion again. By junior high I quit all things church, and ran as far and as fast from God that I possibly could for the next ten years.
I’m glad to hear you are searching and pondering God. I don’t want to give you the ole “just go find a good church and read your bible” advice, but I did have a thought. I really enjoy writing, and one thing that has always helped me was to journal. Might I suggest that? I know finding just ten minutes for yourself everyday is a struggle, but I want to really encourage you to do that. I really hope you feel the need to make this important and set aside ten minutes a day just for you to write, journal, sort out your thoughts, pour out your heart. Get yourself pretty blank book and pen, and just write, anything, everything. Sometimes I think I need to just unload myself on paper before I can even begin hearing from God. Just a thought. Please know I am praying for you and your family. Sounds like you have a little one now also? Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need, and make sure you are asking for things that will help you take care of yourself, and make it a priority to do so. You deserve it, you are worth it, and you need to find your strength to raise those babies.
Lastly (sorry about the novel), but I had to mention music. Music is actually a big part of how I came to know God and accept Jesus as my savior. Music is powerful, it speaks to me, and it’s easy to keep on in the background while I’m busy changing diapers, wiping noses, and teaching math :) Again, just know you are loved and thought of, and I believe it has been the Holy Spirit moving me to email you, I know that probably sounds crazy. But I’d love to keep “talking” :)
P.S. Happy belated birthday! Go buy yourself a pretty blank book ;)