One Handed Feats

black and white

Me with Garrett (blonde) and Emeth’s son, Zuri

The following are things (many of them unpleasant or dangerous) that I now know are possible to do with only one hand. The other hand, of course, is busy holding a baby. Feel free to add your own one handed feats in the comments.

P.S. If you don’t own one all ready slings, wraps and backpack style carriers like Ergo’s are heaven-sent. My little guy just wants up and down constantly so sometimes it’s easier just to hold him.

The List

-Wash and chop potatoes.

-Use the bathroom.

-Wipe older child’s bottom while holding younger one at an unnatural angle so as to prevent younger one from pulling older ones hair.

-Wash my hands with soap and water. You’ve got to switch hips and wash them one at a time.

-Put things in and out of the oven.

-Wash, dry, fold and put away laundry.

-Pre-wash and load and empty the dishwasher. I’ve also done this while on the phone AND holding a baby. I don’t recommend. It leaves a kink in your neck.

-vacuum.

-Throw up. Not that throwing up is ever pleasant but to do so while holding a child is even more so.

-Clean the bathroom.

-Eat within 3 bites any meal that I would care to partake of while simultaneously defending my meal from my child.

-Sign receipts or any other nonsense. At least most of the women are thoughtful enough to hold the paper still for you so that the signature is more than garbledygook.

-Lock the front door with keys. For us this is tough because you have to pull the handle while simultaneously turning the key.

-Carry as many as six grocery bags plus three books under your arm up a flight of stairs. Ok, I cheated on this one. Two grocery bags were in my hand that was carrying the baby but I’m still pretty impressed with this one.

-Put my hair up in a pony tail. This is a lot harder than it sounds.

-Drive. I admit it. I have driven with Garrett on my lap (through a parking lot).

-Type an email/blog post or Facebook entry using my cat like reflexes to thwart unwanted additions.

-Sleep. Everyone should try this one, it’s worth it.

-Brush my teeth.

-Blowdry my hair.

-Shop and push the shopping cart.

-Shower. This is hard and precarious.

-Prepared countless breakfasts/lunches/dinners.

-Push an empty stroller. Oh, the irony.

-Console an older sibling, who erupts into further crying while younger child (once again) pulls hair.

-Take pictures. Retake the picture. Clean lens. Retake the picture.

-Try to balance in the squatting position. Fall over and attempt again.

-Put on shoes while standing. Like above, fall over and attempt again.

-Mail packages

-And my personal favorite? Cut your own fingernails.

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4 comments

  1. Sam · September 25, 2009

    LOL love this list… glad the kids are feeling better. I have done all of those and more with one hand… I love the irony of holding the baby while pushing an empty stroller.

  2. kristina · September 24, 2009

    Fingernails? You are one talented mama :)

    I saw your facebook status about soccer and almost took Siena – until – I remembered you moved away LOL.

  3. Brianne S. · September 24, 2009

    Ah, yes, I do love pushing an empty stroller while holding a kid. So fun.

  4. Amy Reid · September 24, 2009

    Wow, that’s a lot. How bout putting on a pair of pants. I’ve done that.

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