One Handed Feats

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Me with Garrett (blonde) and Emeth’s son, Zuri

The following are things (many of them unpleasant or dangerous) that I now know are possible to do with only one hand. The other hand, of course, is busy holding a baby. Feel free to add your own one handed feats in the comments.

P.S. If you don’t own one all ready slings, wraps and backpack style carriers like Ergo’s are heaven-sent. My little guy just wants up and down constantly so sometimes it’s easier just to hold him.

The List

-Wash and chop potatoes.

-Use the bathroom.

-Wipe older child’s bottom while holding younger one at an unnatural angle so as to prevent younger one from pulling older ones hair.

-Wash my hands with soap and water. You’ve got to switch hips and wash them one at a time.

-Put things in and out of the oven.

-Wash, dry, fold and put away laundry.

-Pre-wash and load and empty the dishwasher. I’ve also done this while on the phone AND holding a baby. I don’t recommend. It leaves a kink in your neck.

-vacuum.

-Throw up. Not that throwing up is ever pleasant but to do so while holding a child is even more so.

-Clean the bathroom.

-Eat within 3 bites any meal that I would care to partake of while simultaneously defending my meal from my child.

-Sign receipts or any other nonsense. At least most of the women are thoughtful enough to hold the paper still for you so that the signature is more than garbledygook.

-Lock the front door with keys. For us this is tough because you have to pull the handle while simultaneously turning the key.

-Carry as many as six grocery bags plus three books under your arm up a flight of stairs. Ok, I cheated on this one. Two grocery bags were in my hand that was carrying the baby but I’m still pretty impressed with this one.

-Put my hair up in a pony tail. This is a lot harder than it sounds.

-Drive. I admit it. I have driven with Garrett on my lap (through a parking lot).

-Type an email/blog post or Facebook entry using my cat like reflexes to thwart unwanted additions.

-Sleep. Everyone should try this one, it’s worth it.

-Brush my teeth.

-Blowdry my hair.

-Shop and push the shopping cart.

-Shower. This is hard and precarious.

-Prepared countless breakfasts/lunches/dinners.

-Push an empty stroller. Oh, the irony.

-Console an older sibling, who erupts into further crying while younger child (once again) pulls hair.

-Take pictures. Retake the picture. Clean lens. Retake the picture.

-Try to balance in the squatting position. Fall over and attempt again.

-Put on shoes while standing. Like above, fall over and attempt again.

-Mail packages

-And my personal favorite? Cut your own fingernails.

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Reuben Christopher – Hair Clip Giveaway!

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PLEASE READ, A NOTE FROM ME ABOUT GIVEAWAYS: CLICK HERE

Jennifer from Reuben Christopher is giving away 3 fun hair clips to one lucky winner! The one pictured above is just an example. The 3 clips for the giveaway will be a fun surprise. To read about our experience with hair clips and other products from Reuben Christopher please read our review HERE.

Share this giveaway on your own blog or other site that you frequent (make sure it is allowed first) and receive an extra entry for each website you post it on. Simply include the link to where you posted the giveaway within your comment. If you need to leave an extra comment with the links you posted it to, that is fine. The giveaway address is:

https://journeytocrunchville.wordpress.com/2008/12/08/reuben-christopher-hair-clip-giveaway/


To enter the contest simply answer the question below in the comments section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answers and it does not matter if your answer is fancy or a few words:

“What is the grossest/funniest thing you have ever gotten in your hair?” or “What is the grossest/funniest thing your child has ever gotten in their hair?” or “Do you have hair?” LOL

I have hair and too much of it. I’d have to say the grossest thing I’ve ever gotten in my hair would be baby puke. Not too unique. However, I do have a funny story. I used to nanny for a newborn baby and one day I took him to his mommy’s work on her lunch break so that she could nurse him. Afterwards she was playing with him and they were being very cute together. She held him up over her head and then WHAM! He spit up in her mouth and all over her. It was hysterical. We both agreed it was a good thing that mommies loved their babies.

Contest ends Sunday December 14th at 11:59 pm. Winner will be announced Monday December 15th.

The Cat’s Out of the Bag…

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This morning Camden and I were enjoying our breakfast of grits when she came out of left field with the following inquisition at nearly 4 years of age:

Cami: “Santa isn’t real is he? He’s just pretend, right?”

Me: “What do you think?”

Cami: “I think he is pretend.”

Me: Knowing good and well that my husband would not be happy with my honesty I answered her truthfully anyway. “You’re right. Santa is just pretend. Lots of people like to pretend that Santa exists because it makes them feel good and they have fun pretending he is real.” And just because I was curious I asked, “What makes you think Santa is pretend?”

Cami: “Because Santa is just pretend. He is not real. Santa is pretend like Jesus is pretend.”

Yikes. I quickly followed up that conversation explaining that Jesus was definitely a real person who lived long ago and that some people believe he was just a regular man that taught people about God and that others believe that he was the son of God and that he came to Earth to help us get to Heaven and show us how to live our lives by his example. I shared with her my own testimony of my faith in Jesus Christ. I am very thankful that I chose to tell her the truth about Santa because how will she ever learn to trust me if I’m not willing to answer her in truthfulness? Besides, it gave me an opportunity to share my own testimony and beliefs with her about Jesus that I may not have had the chance to do otherwise.

So all of you family members with young children be prepared for her to spill the beans. I’m not exactly sure how to keep her mum about the whole “pretend Santa” thing except for reiterating to her that lots of people like to pretend that Santa is real because it makes them happy. I only hope her nearly 9 year old step-sister realizes that Santa is not real. LOL.

Flashback – Cost of Birth in America in 1957

My mom emailed me the coolest thing today. A copy of the hospital bill that my Grandmother received when my mom was born. She stayed at the hospital for 5 days after the birth and it cost only $19/day. Baby care was only $4/day. The delivery room charge was $20 and drugs were $16.05. Her total hospital bill? $196.80 with a $20 copay. Amazing.

I tried to locate the hospital bill from having my daughter, Camden, in 2004 but was unable to find it. I did find the bill for the anesthesiologist and the cost of only the epidural was $1302.00. Quite the difference.

Just to throw in some fun statistics that I’ve been playing with:

The average income in 1957 was about $5000/yr. So if you take insurance out of the equation the bill would have been approximately 3.9% of the household income.

Compare that to today. The average vaginal birth is estimated around $9,000 (according to the March of Dimes, as of 2004) and the median household income as of 2006 was $48,000. So, without insurance the average vaginal birth is 18.6% of the median household income.

A huge difference.

That also doesn’t take into account that the hospital stay back then was for 5 days for both mother and baby and the typical stay for a vaginal birth today is 24-48 hours. The 3.9%  in 1957 becomes 2.6% if you change it to a 2 day stay for both mom and baby.

Also, from my own experience a typical vaginal birth costs much, much more than $9,000. I was actually shocked by this statistic since my own experience and hearing the experience of others I had heard that typical vaginal births are more like $15,000-$20,000.

Groundhog Day?

Anyone remember the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murphy? Well, my life seems to be stuck in a loop hole and I couldn’t help but remember that movie.

Some sort of 24 hour stomach bug is going around in our house. It started with me last Friday feeling absolutely nauseous. I thought it was pregnancy related since I felt fine otherwise. I wound up taking a 4 hour nap and going to bed early and the next day I was fine. On Saturday after Mikayla threw up we realized it was a stomach virus of sorts. She only threw up once and recovered fairly quickly afterwards. Sunday no one was sick.

Monday we begin the loop. We are getting ready to go to the Playground of Dreams (really, that is what it is called) so that the kids can play at the water park feature and afterwords we were going to have a picnic. I was putting the car seat in the car when Cami opened the garage door and said, “I forgot that throw up was supposed to go in the potty.” Ugh. Not a good sign.

I walked inside and she was trying to clean herself off in the bathroom. Right in front of the bathroom door is a pile of regurgitated breakfast. I decide to clean her off first since it is in her hair. I shower her off and get her a new change of clothes. I went to put on a movie for her to watch and have her lay down to rest and as I’m walking into our room I notice another pile of unmentionable waste at the entrance to the master bedroom. Apparently she went looking for me first. I step over it and lay her on the bed and order her to be still (she all ready wants to go outside and play) and relax so that I can clean up the mess.

I go to the kitchen to get towels to begin the decontamination process and happen upon a more disturbing scene. In the middle of the playroom sat the rocking horse and I am sad to say that the horse and surrounding floor was adequately bathed in Cami puke. So gross. I quickly determine what happened. She was rocking away, puked, got up to go look for me, puked again, tried to make it to the bathroom and puked again. Nice.

I did my best to wipe up the messes with towels and then I just laid a fresh towel over the top of each pile so the kids wouldn’t walk on them because we didn’t have any spot carpet cleaner. I called my friend Shelby to see if we could borrow her carpet shampooer.

As if the day couldn’t get any worse I started to notice myself getting really hot. I walked over to the air conditioning unit to make sure it was turned on and was befuddled by what I saw. The air conditioning was on but it wasn’t working. It was 80 degrees inside and rising. Just peachy.

So I call Mike at work and he calls the company that we have contracted to take care of our air conditioning/heating and they send someone out. The a/c guy comes to our house and determines that the problem is the little unit in the house. He informs me we’ll need over $300 big ones for the part and to install it. Beautiful. I call Mike back and put him on the phone with the a/c guy. They determine that my husband, Mr. Fix It, can simply purchase the unit and install it himself which will save us $200. Very good news. So a/c guy leaves the new unit here writes us a bill and departs. Mr Fix It comes home and installs the new unit and it begins working again. Hooray!

Miss Pukey was fine for the rest of the day and played and acted like normal. The kids settle in for bed and all seems well.

This morning we decided to get ready and go to the free movie that they show at the local theater and then plan on getting together with some friends to play and also to go visit Emeth and the new baby. The girls ate breakfast and we were all getting dressed and ready to head out the door. As I’m checking my email before we depart I hear a disturbing splatter behind me. I turn to see Camden standing in front of the bathroom door surrounded by a fresh pile of puke. Nooooooooooo. I waddle as quickly as I can and lift her quickly into the bathroom and wipe her up. I then throw her into the bath because she has puke in her hair, yet again. While she’s bathing I get out the carpet shampooer that Shelby so kindly lent us and begin cleaning the mess. I finally get both her and the carpet cleaned.

As I’m sitting on the couch pouting about spending another day at home not being able to see our friends I notice that I am yet again hot. I walk over to the a/c unit and to my dismay it is yet again 80 degrees in our house. Seriously? I hope someone finds this funny because I certainly do not. Now we are waiting for a/c guy to come back and in the meantime I am sulking and sweating and hoping that this can be fixed without having to sell one of our children which is about the only thing left I have to sell on eBay.

One Good Reason To Complain On Your Blog

Well because it might result in you receiving something like this in the mail…

We received a brand new Toshiba Satellite L350 Laptop today in the mail. I was so shocked and excited and gleefully jumpy. Which looks kind of funny at nearly 8 months pregnant.

The laptop was sent as a gift after one of my readers read my last post complaining about my ancient computer and its lack of cooperation with uploading pictures and operating in general. I can not put into words how happy and spoiled I feel. This laptop is so amazing. Camden became quite upset when she learned this was not a package for her. I reassured her the ancient dinosaur would soon be hers as soon as we cleared our photo’s and other files off of it.

My friend Emeth and her husband Ben came over and helped us set up the wireless internet and so now I am up and ready to go. It is so nice to be writing the first post on my blog from the luxury of my couch. YAHOO! I am also happy to report that I am now the only waddling object in the house.

So, since it worked the first time I figure the following is worth a shot:

My car is really old. Sooooo old. 18 years old. My how convenient it would be if a 2008 Toyota Sienna showed up in my driveway tomorrow. Silver preferred. Closes eyes and crosses fingers. Hehe, just kidding.

Thanks again Mom & Dad.