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I need you to know, more than anything else, that I loved you.

I was so scared. I have never known fear as great as the day I found out that you would be coming to this world. But I loved you. So much. I still love you and I will always miss you.

There were so many things I wondered, worried and agonized over. Almost every waking moment, and many of my sleeping ones, I ran over every possible scenario that I could think of. How much of that did you feel? How much of my stress caused you harm? Could you feel my love too?

Never have two little pink lines been so terrifying. I am so sorry that there were no tears of joy and squeals of laughter. All babies should be welcomed that way. You weren’t any less beautiful, miraculous or amazing. I was so angry when I realized I was pregnant. Not at you or because of you but I was angry at how it could be possible for a responsibility and a privilege so great to be given to someone like me who had no way of providing, protecting or loving you the way that you deserved. The way every beautiful, precious, miracle of a baby deserves.

Your amazing beating heart flickered there on the screen for me. It was weak and you were small but you were fighting. You lived, if only briefly. I wanted not to worry. I wanted to be joyful but instead there was just gut wrenching fear.

How do I explain who your father is? What he is? Where he is? What he did? How do I conceal that you even exist to protect you? The world is small and eventually he would have found out…how do you trust a broken governmental system to protect the most vulnerable among us? How could I provide for you? How could I walk away from you every day to leave you in daycare? How would I afford daycare? How do I face each day, being the mom you need, stretched too thin with no financial resources? How do I deserve you? How will it feel for you to watch your siblings leave to go see their father and you won’t have one to go to? What will you say? How will I explain it?  Will my love be stronger than the pain he caused? Am I a good enough mom? How will I afford any of this? How do I face my fears, acknowledge them and let them go? How do I trust that the world will be here for us when the world has felt so dark?

Darkness. Everywhere things just feel dark. How could all of this happen? What did I do to deserve this? How do you keep faith when things keep going wrong. Consistently, irreparably wrong? I have always been a positive person. Looking on the bright side. Trusting the good in people. In the world. Little by little, the world is changing me. How do I stop it from changing me? How do I stop from becoming dark myself?

I tried to be brave for you. To think of the beautiful birth you would have. Would you be born wide awake and curious like your sister? Huge and quiet with one eye open like your oldest brother? Or would you sleep through a fast and furious birth like your youngest brother? I imagined wearing you in a wrap and nursing you. I imagined rocking you and holding you and our quiet days together when your siblings were with their dad.

Were you the little girl we’ve all been hoping and waiting for? The sister that’s been longed for? Were  you going to teach me that I am stronger and braver than I give myself credit for? Would you show us with your beautiful smile, your sweet grasping hands, those deep soulful eyes and that indescribable baby smell that despite the darkness in the world that each amazing, beautiful life possesses the power to bring meaning and light?

I will never know the answers to those questions. Your little heart stopped beating and you my brave sweet baby, with your short powerful life, will leave me forever wondering about you. Missing you. Loving you.

I am thankful that you have been spared the fears and possibilities that I agonized over. I am grateful and relieved and yet pained with guilt, remorse, pain and loss. But above absolutely anything else… I love you.

-Mom

Truly’s Natural Deodorant was developed by Angela for her family and friends in order to provide them with a safe, natural and effective solution to body odor. As the demand for her product grew she realized she had a product that should be made available to all. Truly’s Natural Products is run by the Collison family in Harrington Delaware and the natural deodorant is named after the youngest Collison daughter, Truly Mae.

GIVEAWAY INFORMATION AT THE END OF THE REVIEW!!

!!!!  WINNER: Tabitha Polley  !!!!

The Scoop

If you are an individual bent on finding natural alternatives for everyday products than you have likely encountered the challenge of finding a natural deodorant that actually works…and works well.

There are a number of ingredients in many deodorants that are important to avoid. The main culprits are: aluminum, propylene glycol, parabens, triclosan, steareth-n and phthalates. For information about these ingredients and why they should be avoided please see the link below:

Deodorant Ingredients to Avoid

What makes Truly’s Deodorant stand out in the natural deodorant world? Two factors.

1. There are 3 ingredients! Even better, they are pronounceable and they sound like the beginning of a tasty cake.
2. It works!! Not only does it work but it works better than any product I have ever tried.

So, what is it made of? Would you believe it only contains…

Coconut Oil

Powdered Sugar

Baking Soda

Those three simple ingredients combine to create a simple but powerful product that completely eliminates body odor. Why does it work and why in the world is sugar in there?

The sugar in the deodorant combines with your own sweat to form a hyperosmotic solution that prevents bacterial growth. The growth of bacteria is what causes body odor. Before the use of antibiotics, sugar and honey were used in open wounds to prevent infection. Additionally, baking soda helps to combat odor and the antimicrobial properties of coconut oil also help to eliminate bacteria. Want to read more about it? Click HERE.

So, with these three ingredients, Angela created the natural deodorant that I feel like shouting from the rooftops about. Consider my blog my rooftop. This is me waving my arms and shouting like a mad woman. YOU WANT THIS!

The Crunchville Experience

If you have followed my blog at all then you will be surprised to see this post show up. I fell away from blogging back in 2008 when my son was born and shortly after that my personal world blew up. Chaos still reigns supreme in my world but when Angela contacted me about doing a review for her natural deodorant I could not resist! I mean, there were my stinky armpits begging for attention as I read her email. I even had a painful rash from the Toms of Maine deodorant I was currently using. I have used many natural deodorant products but nothing has worked effectively for me. So, I excitedly wrote her back thankful for an excuse to bring my blog back from it’s virtual dusty shelf.

Truly’s deodorant comes in what looks very much like a can of chewing tobacco. Thankfully, it smells much better. It has a circular lid that you twist off and on. Since the product is made out of coconut oil it becomes a liquid state at warm temperatures and a solid at room temperature.

When I first received the deodorant it was the middle of summer in Tri-Cities, Washington. If you’ve never been there it is a hot, dry, cough, ugly, cough, cough, desert. So, when I took off the lid it was pretty melted and a little bit of the deodorant spilled out. I also had to swirl it with my finger a little bit to mix the ingredients back together. Instantly, I realized that I did not care for the type of container the deodorant is packaged in. However, I have spent the last month trying to figure out what a better type of container would be for this product and I can not for the life of me, figure it out. It may just have to be one of those things that is tolerated based on the nature of the product.

So, before I get in to my experience with Truly’s here is my experience with what I had finally settled on with deodorant. After trying many things that never worked I finally settled on Tom’s of Maine deodorant which gave me mediocre results. Even the one that claims to work for 24 hours didn’t last me very long (6-8 hours) before I began smelling. It also left a sticky residue in my armpits and after a few weeks of use I would get a chapped like burn in my armpits that was very painful. If I sweated from activity, I smelled right away and when I woke up in the morning I always smelled.

Since I’ve started using Truly’s deodorant for the last month I have only had body odor ONE time. One time in 30 days no matter what time of day it was! It’s like a body odor miracle! I have jogged and mowed the lawn in 90 degree weather. No smell. Walking outside in 110 degree weather? No smell. I have gone without showering for several days in a row. No smell. I’ve sat nervously in a courtroom for divorce proceedings. No smell. That one time that I did smell was because I forgot to reapply the deodorant first thing in the morning the next day.

To apply the product you remove the lid and dip your finger into the mixture. My product has ranged from a very liquidy cream, to a thick cream to a fairly solid mixture that you have to apply pressure to in order to remove some with your finger. This varies dependent on the temperature in your home. No matter the consistency the product always works great.

A few of my favorite factors that have not been possible with other deodorants is that there is no residue that builds up in my arm pits. They don’t get sticky. There’s been no burns or skin sensitivity. It doesn’t make my skin peel at all. And in the mornings, even if I sweat at night, I don’t stink! Even more amazing is that if I don’t shower every day all I have to do is put on more deodorant when I wake up and I still don’t smell all day even though I’ve been using it during the hottest month of the year in the middle of a desert!

The one setback I had with this product was when I traveled to a friends house for the weekend. Without thinking, I put it in my travel bag and when I got there the deodorant had leaked a little out of the container and slimed some of my bathroom products with coconut oil. I recommend putting it in a ziploc bag for travel.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy or excited about a natural body care product. Now if only I could find a natural shampoo that worked as effectively for my hair as Truly’s works for my armpits…I’d be set.

Wrapping It Up
-Suggestions, Observations and Wishes-

-I would love to see Truly’s deodorant come in a different type of container that prevents it from leaking or spilling. I honestly have no idea what this container could be but it would improve the overall usability of the product tremendously.

-On the website FAQ’s it states that the product will last from 4-6 months. I am only applying the product once a day but it is more than halfway gone and I’ve been using it for a month. Some of it was spilt and I found out after speaking with Angela that I have been more generous with it than I need to be. Even after this, I would say that I will still get 2 months of use out of it. However, even if I had to go through one can a month this would be more than worth it to me.

-Based off of my review Angela has created some tips to help make the transition to Truly’s deodorant a more seamless transition. Apparently, some of these were written on the packing slip that I did not read. Whoops. I threw away that pressure seal that prevents spilling when I opened it. Double whoops.

Truly’s Tips:

1.  Truly’s Natural Deodorant may liquefy during shipping and for ease of use should be left overnight in a climate controlled environment to allow it to re-solidify.  (This is printed on the packing slip, but I don’t know if anyone reads it!)  If you do open it right away, do so carefully to avoid spillage.

2. The Truly’s Natural Deodorant container comes with a pressure seal which if peeled off carefully and reinserted into the base of the lid, it will keep your container of deodorant from leaking even if it is in a liquid state. Just be sure to mindfully close the lid tightly before packing, and it is not a bad idea to slip it in a baggie to be on the safe side.

3. Our statement that one 2 oz container of Truly’s will last 4-6 months is based on our experience alone and not a scientific study as we are just a small family business.  I use it usually twice a day…once in the early morning before I exercise and again a bit later after I shower and it lasts me well beyond 4 months.  It is very concentrated and I encourage people to experiment with how little they actually need to stay fresh all day.  (See picture below for amount recommended).

4. If you have airconditioning and keep your home around 75 degrees,  Truly’s will stay as a creamy semi-solid but it will work at any consistency or temperature.

Overall

This is a must have product. It’s simple and extremely powerful. You can feel safe letting everyone in the family use it. For those women that are pregnant and nursing you don’t need to worry about the effects your deodorant may be having on your baby. Gentle enough for your kids and powerful enough for the stinkiest among us. I love how simple the ingredients are. I love that I can directly support another family by purchasing it. It’s nuances  (product consistency and the need to put your finger in it) are small when compared to how amazing it works. Who knew you could become so excited about deodorant??

The Basics:
Company Name: Truly’s Natural Products
Product Name: Truly’s Deodorant
Price: $7.99 for a 2 oz container OR $42.94 for a family six pack (each 2 oz)
Where to Buy: trulysnaturaldeodorant.com

GIVEAWAY!!!

Would you like to win a container of Truly’s Natural Deodorant to try for yourself? To enter our giveaway please do the following:

1. LIKE Truly’s Natural Deodorant on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TrulysNaturalDeodorant

2. Visit Truly’s Website: http://www.trulysnaturaldeodorant.com/

3. Comment on this review: Please comment on this review something you learned from Truly’s Website

BONUS:

4. For an extra entry into the drawing: Please share this review OR Truly’s Facebook page on your Facebook page.

I am sad to see it go but I am getting to a point where I have outgrown this blog. As much as I have enjoyed it, I no longer have the time or energy to research and post about topics that were central to this blog’s mission/point/audience.

Rather than change the title and scope of this blog I have decided to begin a new one. Most of the people that visit Journey To Crunchville are here to read articles or recipes that I’ve written and aren’t necessarily interested in our families day to day life. Since homeschooling and our day to day life is what I am currently consumed and absorbed by, that is what I’d like to write about. I will keep Journey To Crunchville up and running since it still receives a lot of traffic everyday.

If you would enjoy reading about our family or our journey in homeschooling please visit our new blog that I have just created:

Our Learning House

If you want to save yourself time, headache and most importantly, a costly investment then please heed my warning: “Do not buy a Toshiba Laptop!”

They have a known issue with the internal charging unit breaking off within the laptop so that you can not charge the laptop. This is faulty manufacturing and we have been told by individuals in the computer repair industry that this is a known shortcoming for Toshiba.

We purchased our Toshiba laptop in the summer of 2008 for over 1K dollars. This is NOT a $200 dollar laptop. Our specific laptop is the Toshiba Satellite model # PSLE0U-00H00J. The first time this problem occurred our laptop had just fallen outside the 1 year warranty by a few weeks. We were frustrated but figured it must have been user error and paid for the laptop to be repaired locally. Less than a month later the same issue occurred again. We paid again out of pocket to have it repaired. We thought we’d be in the clear.

It happened again in January 2010. I was FED up! Our computer repairman encouraged us to call Toshiba since we obviously had a lemon and he also informed us that he sees this in Toshiba laptops regularly. It is a known fault of their equipment. So, I called Toshiba and was happy to find that they were willing to let me ship the laptop back to them and they repaired the laptop and sent it back to me. I was one happy customer and at that point was willing to overlook the obviously faulty design in favor of good customer service.

Scratch that. What used to be good customer service.

Yesterday, on October 4th, our laptop in a complete lack of originality stopped charging yet again. So we got 10 months worth of service from the repair that was supposed to forever solve the issue.  I now have on my hands a $1000 paperweight which is completely useless. Frustrated but confident that Toshiba would pull through again I called their customer service number at 1-800-457-7777. I talked to Roy, explained the situation and he warned me that since my laptop was out of warranty I might be charged a $35 fee just for talking to him. Nice.

I explained the situation, explained it was an ongoing issue and that our laptop had all ready been sent in for a “repair and return” for the same issue. He was polite, filled out his paperwork and offered to transfer me to Customer Relations. He gave me my case # and transferred me.

I was transferred to Matthew, a case manager. He looked up our previous issue and informed me that the program that they created to repair and return laptops for this known issue expired in June 2010. So, at this point there was nothing they were willing to do for me. He would not transfer me to a superior and in fact, wouldn’t even tell me his superior’s name. I was not belligerent or rude. I was mad and firm but polite. However, I was denied any solution other than have fun on that creek ride…too bad your paddle expired.

So Matthew, if you read this at some point. Shame on you. Shame on you for willingly working for a company who disrespects the little guy. We, the little guy, make your job possible. Shame on your for working for a company that serves only it’s best interest rather than admitting fault, correcting a mistake and praying for our forgiveness as the consumers that feed their families. Shame on all of us. Shame on all of us for being willing to accept this type of treatment from companies simply because, “they can get away with it.” Why? Why should they? What happened to being able to naturally expect that a company would stand behind their products without shame and without excuse.

It is a pure coward that can hide behind an expired warranty waving it as if it is some magical get out of jail free card. What happened to quality and honor and reputation? It is both sad and frightening that with today’s technological developments that we can not produce quality items that are made to last.

There is no reason that I can justify that a $1000+ laptop should not be operating 2 years later. Not to mention this is the 4th time within those two years that a consistent problem has occurred.

Please help me stand up to cowards like Toshiba and pass on this information to everyone you know. Maybe it will save them their hard earned money. For now, I am stuck with a $1000 paper weight and a years worth of family photographs and other important documents that I am going to have to pay someone to retrieve from my laptops hard drive.

Please help me with this. Our voice is the only thing that can make a difference. Pass it on and why you’re at it…pass on Toshiba.

and start squatting instead.

I came across this information a few months ago but have not had a chance to post it yet. I find the information to be logical, reasonable and make much more sense than an exercise that does not come naturally or have any applicable relation to real life. Squatting on the other hand used to be (and still is in much of the world) a common and daily practice. I am now trying to squat when I fold my laundry and try to squat as often as I think of it. Join me in squatting won’t you?

I will post the articles on my blog and link to the original source.

Original article here: Mama Sweat

Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT invited.

You now have permission to pee in the shower.

Recently I met a woman who told me she used to be a runner. Naturally, I asked: Why don’t you still run? The answer: “Because 60 hours of labor with my first child and a forceps delivery ruined my desire to run anymore.”
To sum up for those who still may not infer the problem: She pees her pants when she picks up the pace.
My friends and I joke about sneeze pee, jumping jack pee, trampoline pee, and other bladder challenges. But full blown incontinence is no laughing matter. I’m a firm believer that a strong pelvic floor is the answer to incontinence (although pharmaceutical companies and surgeons often try to persuade people with other remedies). A strong pelvic floor, I’ve learned, not only makes the difference between wet and dry running shorts, but also keeps me running pain-free: I no longer suffer from the back and hip problems that used to plague me.
So today I bring you an interview with Katy Bowman. I have had the opportunity to interview Katy for magazine articles. Since becoming a freelance writer 13 years ago I have interviewed scores of sources. Very few I remember. Katy made an impression. She is a biomechanical scientist who applies her knowledge on the human body. Among other things, she has her own DVD program, “Aligned and Well,” and is the director of the Restorative Exercise Institute. Her blog, Katy Says, is amazing (and she’s as funny as she is smart). I like that combination so I asked her to chime in about the pelvic floor. I had no idea she would rock my pelvic floor world. Even if you’ve never peed in your running shorts even a little bit, you should still read what she has to say about pelvic floor strength.

Mama Sweat: First, a lot of women just assume it’s childbirth that causes incontinence, but I’ve read that pregnancy itself puts a strain on the bladder (so a c-section won’t necessarily save you) and that most women, as they get older–whether they’ve had children or not–will likely experience problems with incontinence. And even men aren’t immune. All this suggests that a weak pelvic floor doesn’t discriminate.

Katy Bowman: Nulliparous women (that’s women who’ve never had a baby) and men are equally affected with PFD (pelvic floor disorder) so while child birth may accelerate PF weakening, it is not a primary cause of PFD. PFD is first caused by slack in the pelvic floor due to the fact that the sacrum is moving anterior, into the bowl of the pelvis. Because the PF muscles attach from the coccyx to the pubic bone, the closer these bony attachments get, the more slack in the PF (the PF becomes a hammock).

MS: So rather than a hammock, you’d rather your PF be more like a stretcher–more firm and able to hold up weight without buckling?

KB: I like to think of the PF like a trampoline–the material is supple, but taut…the perfect muscle length.

MS: And kegels. Everyone on my blog has heard me preach about kegels. I want to make sure all my readers are doing them right. Suggestions?

KB: A kegel attempts to strengthen the PF, but it really only continues to pull the sacrum inward promoting even more weakness, and more PF gripping. The muscles that balance out the anterior pull on the sacrum are the glutes. A lack of glutes (having no butt) is what makes this group so much more susceptible to PFD. Zero lumbar curvature (missing the little curve at the small of the back) is the most telling sign that the PF is beginning to weaken. Deep, regular squats (pictured in hunter-gathering mama) create the posterior pull on the sacrum. Peeing like this in the shower is a great daily practice, as is relaxing the PF muscles to make sure that you’re not squeezing the bathroom muscle closers too tight. Just close them enough…An easier way to say this is: Weak glutes + too many Kegels = PFD.

MS: OK, I had to step away from my computer a moment to fully process this. First of all, you just said it’s OK to pee in the shower, but what really has my head spinning–did I catch this right?–you said: Too many Kegels can cause PFD? Did everyone hear that loud screeching noise? You realize this goes against everything I’ve ever heard or read; that kegels are the be all end all for pelvic floor strength.

KB: I know, I feel like I’m running around saying The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling. The misunderstanding of pelvic floor issues is so widely spread, I’m a Team of One right now. But, I’ve got all of the science backing it up and it makes sense, the kegel is just such a huge part of our inherited culture information, no one bothered to fully examine it. Anyhow, your PF is underneath the weight of your organs, and the strength your PF needs is equal to this weight (you don’t need SUPER STRONG PF muscles, just enough to keep everything closed). When you run, the extra G forces (2-3) actually increase the “weight” while running, but the PF should be adapting, just like all your muscles. One of the biggest misnomers is that tight muscles are “strong” and loose muscles are “weak.” In actuality, the strongest muscle is one that is the perfect length – you need Pelvic Floor Goldilocks – it’s juuuuuust right. The Kegel keeps making the PF tighter and tighter (and weaker and weaker). The short term benefits are masking the long term detriments. Ditch the kegels and add two to three squat sessions throughout the day (anywhere). The glutes strengthen and as a result, they pull the sacrum back, stretching the PF from a hammock to a trampoline. Viola! You can still practice opening and closing your PF in real-time situations, but you don’t have to approach it like a weight-lifting session or anything. It doesn’t need to be on the To Do list :)

MS: I am ALL for scratching items off my to-do list! Before we get too carried away with our newfound freedom from Kegels, I want to get back to the role of our glutes. What you’re saying–and I love this–is that there’s a much better reason, besides aesthetics, to avoid the flat butt syndrome found in most older women (further exacerbated in “mom jeans”). Having a booty–as in strong glutes–will not only do wonders for your view from the backside but prevent you from peeing just a little (or a lot) when you sneeze. This is revolutionary. I love what I’m hearing.

KB: Ok, I’m yelling this: YOU REQUIRE YOUR BUTT MUSCLES! There aren’t any extraneous parts on the body! Every muscle is really a pulley that is holding your skeleton just so. When you let your glutes go, you allow the bones of the pelvis to collpase into themselves. The squat is the most effective and natural glute strengthener–using the full range of motion and your body weight. It is entirely more effective than any gym machine or contrived exercise. The hunter-gathering folks squat multiple times a day (or at least once in the morning), so they had a nice routine down over a lifetime. Doing this four to five times a day, every day of your pregnancy will improve the delivery as well!

MS: I’ve also read that squatting during pregnancy helps prevent the posterior position during delivery (when babies emerge face up, rather than face down), which causes excruciating back labor and with it more interventions, more cesarean deliveries. In America, where we tend to sit back and put our feet up rather than squat and sit forward, the posterior position is more common than in countries where squat sitting is the norm. I was a squatter during my pregnancies, but now I will continue: when I’m playing with The Boy, picking weeds in the yard, pulling laundry out of the dryer or getting a pot from the cupboard. Lots of opportunities to squat!

I know you’ve brought up posture as a culprit too. How does posture play a roll and how do we keep good pelvic posture?

KB: You can only have optimal PF function when the pelvis is in a particular position. The two bony points on the front of the pelvis (where you put your hands on your hips) should be vertically stacked over your pubic bone. Most women have become “tuckers” based on their mom or gram telling them to not stick their butt out. Athletes tend to be super-tight through the quads and psoas, which also keeps the pelvis tucked under. Wearing high heels requires women to reposition their joints to deal with the torque at the ankle, and many women will post-tilt the pelvis there as well. For optimal pelvic health, one needs to make sure the posterior muscles (glutes, hams, and calves) aren’t pulling the pelvis under and keep the psoas and groin loose as well.

MS: So, this requires that we stretch out the muscles in front and strengthen the muscles in back?

KB: The muscles are weak because they are tight. More “strength” or tension-increasing exercises are going to make it worse. Instead, muscle lengthening exercises–especially stretching the calves, hamstrings, groin (adductors)–are the best prescription. Also, you need to learn how to hold your pelvis correctly to optimize strength!

MS: Which brings me to your DVD with the awesome title: “Down There.”

KB: The DVD is designed to get the pelvis in the correct position so the PF can work optimally. Typical PF treatment is trying to strengthen the PF muscles with the pelvis itself is in the wrong position, which means the treatments don’t work very well. That’s why once you have surgery, the statistics say you will have to have a 2nd, 3rd, and even a 4th in your lifetime! It is not a permanent fix, so it’s better to not even go down that road. The DVD will teach you to stretch and relax the muscles that are pulling the pelvis out of alignment–and let the correct muscle tone of the PF re-establish itself.

MS: Should we watch it in the bedroom with the shades drawn or is this something we can do with the kiddies around?

KB: Yes! You can keep the lights on and even the front door open. The exercises are mostly inner thigh and back-of-the-leg stretching, so if you don’t tell anyone what it’s for then they’d never know. And it’s also a great program for kids to follow–especially if they are having problems wetting the bed–the muscle tension pattern is the same in the kids as they are in incontinent moms.

MS: OMG! If you were sitting here in front of me I’d kiss you right now! I am forever washing bedsheets. I can’t wait to try it out.

Let’s get back to peeing in the shower. Now that you’ve legitimized it for us (I don’t advise this practice at the gym, however), let me ask this: Why do I feel the urge to pee a little (or, OK, I’ll say it, sometimes a lot) when I hit a warm shower? Wasn’t this covered in a Seinfeld episode? Seriously, what is it about the warm water that makes me want to let go?

KB: When the PF is weak, women start to use the glutes and adductors to keep the bladder closed (instead of the sphincter muscle of the bladder itself). When you hit the shower, those external muscles relax and HELLO! you realize that you don’t have actual control of the deeper, internal muscles of the PF.

MS: OK. I thought my PF was strong, but I see I have more work to do. I suppose it’s like any muscle, strengthening must be an on-going practice. But for someone who is suffering from incontinence, or this friend of mine who is afraid to run, how soon should they expect to notice a difference once they start a “training program”? And at what point should a woman consider pharmaceutical or surgical options? Ever?

KB: I don’t think a surgical option is ever a good idea, as the problem isn’t coming from one time damage, but the accumulation of 1) bearing down a lot and 2) from squeezing the PF all the time. Working on relaxing the PF and keeping it closed “just enough,” stretching the backs of the legs to free up the pelvis, doing regular, daily squats to strengthen the glutes, and ditching the heels (except in special occasions) are things you can do all the time for all-the-time improvement. Also, doing tons of crunches where you are bearing down on the PF will only make PF health worse. It’s better to do transverse abdominal stabilizing exercises – like the plank – that will decrease any bearing down that sprains pelvic organ ligaments. Once you get yourself out of the weak and overcompensating PF tension cycle, you should feel like you have better bladder control within a few weeks. If you are already experiencing organ prolapse (it is way more common that people realize) you need to skip the run and switch to long, endurance walks (minimize G forces), and do your pelvic-aligning exercises every day–maybe even twice.

MS: Wow. This is revolutionary. And it makes sense. I can hardly believe I’m just. now. learning. this. I can’t be the only one who’s feeling a little cheated. Women (and men) need to know all this. Thank you, Katy, for answering my questions and sharing your knowledge. I know this information will change a lot of lives. And if I can stop buying nighttime pull-ups for my girls, the benefits are more far reaching than I thought!

Do you want your own copy of the “Down There” DVD? I have one to give away! Katy was kind enough to send one to me. I just got a look-see and what I love most is that it’s short and sweet, my kids were able to follow along too, and most were multitasking exercises I could do while waiting for the school bus or in line at the grocery store. Efficient!

Leave me a comment–if nothing else admit that you, too, sometimes pee in the shower. Next week I’ll draw a name and announce the winner!

****Due to the popularity of this post (where are all you people coming from?!) I did a follow up interview with Katy Bowman. Check out Pelvic Floor Encore.

Here is her second interview on the subject:

Pelvic Floor Encore

Well, well, well.

By the look of my stat counter it appears I’ve struck a hot topic with Monday’s post: Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT invited. The comments have been flying and Katy Bowman has been along with us to answer questions. Katy even posted on the topic on her own blog, Katy Says (and the post has cool graphics, so you must check it out). As the conversation ensued in the comment section I had one more question for her–one I thought deserved its own post. Here–thanks to your standing ovation–is an encore question and answer.
And here’s another question for Katy on the Kegels. I don’t think you’re saying we write Kegels completely out of the books, are you? Would Kegels be useful, say during pregnancy and, especially immediately after childbirth when the PF has been directly traumatized? But the difference is we should not go overboard and we still have to build up the other muscles surrounding the PF. Post birth we can go from the Kegel being something we do as an exercise (a few times throughout the day versus 200 times like people have been saying) to something we do in “real time” situations (to hold back urine when we sneeze/laugh/cough/etc.)

Katy, what say you?

I can’t believe how popular this blog has become. Do you know I have friends from elementary school emailing me saying they read this posted on Facebook by people I don’t even know? And I think it is striking such a cord because 80 percent of women are facing this problem, many times silently, and are now really confused. That isn’t what we want either, is it Kara?!

So now you may be wondering “who to trust.” Why would you listen to me? Why am I saying something soooo different than other “experts”? These are all good questions, and questions you should be asking. First off, let me fill you in on the Kegel exercise. Dr. Kegel, an OBGYN, had a device that he invented that he thought would help many of his (caucasian) patients recover from the birthing process.

Before I go any further: It is well documented that Western, modern-living women have much more difficult births than their less-modernized counterparts. During these times (mid 1800’s to the 1930’s) pelvic floor damage and baby-head smashing was a problem for “civilized women,” but not the “Tinkers” (Irish gypsies) or tribal-living women. The only differences in these groups turned out to be the size of their birthing space. The size of the birthing space (the obstetrical conjugate) is created by the bony surfaces of the pelvis. The sacrum (the base of the tailbone) makes up the back side of this birthing space. The cool thing is, the sacrum is not attached to the pelvis, but floating against it. Less-civilized women (like their male counterparts) have squatted to “bathroom” their entire lives. This squatting increased their birthing space by activating the glutes (pulling the sacrum back to open the birthing space). This extra space meant less pressure on their PFs during birth (less tearing of the muscles and tendons) and required less damage to the ligaments in between the bones.

Another way to say this is the life-long habit of squatting is what prevented the PF from being damaged in the first place. The balance between the perfect amount of glute contraction and the perfect amount of PF tone give you what you want. Good pelvic (and abdominal) organ support. [Kara’s Note: read Katy’s post about the Hunter Gathering Mama for more about squatting for birth preparation.]

Back to Dr. Kegel. Now he had all these women who were noticing weakness and invented the Kegelizer, or something like that. It was equivalent to the Kegel-exercisers you see now. Just insert and squeeze. The squeeze improved the lost mental connection between a damaged PF and one that was firing correctly. Firing correctly meant that when the PF was done contracting, the muscles could restore to their optimal length. This part of Dr. Kegel’s research protocol has been left out and the only part that has been passed on is the contracting part.

Science Note: The muscle tissue in your PF is the same as the muscle tissue in your biceps. When you’re done realllly working your biceps, you’d like your arm to go back to its original length, right? What if, when you were done doing your curls, your elbows stayed as bent as they were when your muscles were the TIGHTEST? If you equate strong with tight, then you’d have “strong,” contracted arms with bent elbows all the time. Tight muscles. Unusable arms.

That’s not what TONE is. Tone is having the MOST strength and the MOST length.

Doing Kegels all the time will get you a TIGHT, unusable pelvic floor. This is why people’s ORGANS ARE FALLING OUT OF THEIR BODY.

Probably the worst time to be doing Kegels in the way we think “Kegels” is during pregnancy. If you looked at the research for birthing mechanics it is clear that women (especially Western women) are allowing their pelvic girdle to collapse based on our lack of glute (and calf and hamstring tension). The research shows that PFD isn’t a problem in other parts of the world.

So, all you Hot Mamas-To-Be out there HAVE TO SQUAT THREE TIMES A DAY until these joint motions come naturally. That’s how you tend to your PF before delivery. To all of you Hot Mamas out there with your birthing days behind you: Don’t let your PF gripping become stronger than your glutes.

I came up with the perfect solution, Kara. Gently tense and fully release (shy of urinating) your PF 10 times while you are in a squatting position. That way you know you are keeping all the pelvic muscles balanced.

Garrett turned two on August 15th. This last year has gone by so fast.

Garrett is such an amazing little guy. I’m not sure how one child manages to be such a melded combination of characteristics but somehow he is able to do it. He is my snuggler and a complete mama’s boy. He still finds his way to my hip or in my lap for much of the day. At the same time he is very independent and the phrase we probably hear most often from him is, “Garrett do!” or “Garrett too!”. Mike has taken to calling Garrett, “Garrett too.” Over the last several months and especially the last few weeks Garrett is developing a deep love for his daddy. He wants to do everything daddy does and is starting to miss him when he is gone. For the last six months or so when Garrett wakes up in the morning he will say, “dada?” wanting to know where daddy is. When I respond, “at work” his usual response used to be a somewhat disappointed “ohhhh.” The last week or so he has started saying “missssss. dada missssss” with a very sad face. He is truly sad and distraught when daddy is gone now.

Garrett is also very stubborn, strong willed and frankly, rebellious. For someone who has just barely turned 2 he is amazing at toeing the line. If you draw a line he will run to the edge of it, look you square in the eye and then calmly put his foot over it taunting you to see what you’re going to do about it. He does this not only with Mike and I but with other adults and children. He likes to provoke reactions, usually just for fun. This has caused me, as his mom, a lot of stress. I have learned to loosen up, to enjoy his nature and to give him a bit more wiggle room.


Garrett is a rough and tumble all out boy. He likes guns, dirt, water and sticks. What he wants is “his”, what he looks at is “his” and what anyone else wants is “his”. He is not afraid of taking it by force even from a child (or adult) bigger than he is. He sometimes takes great joy in snatching things from others even if he has no desire for what he has snatched. He reminds me of a little lion cub looking to dominate anything and everything around him. He will push down little babies that are minding their own business, just to know that is able to do it. It is to the point where if we are with a group of children and one of them starts to cry, I usually have to jump up and remind Garrett that we do not hit, push, take…etc

Unfortunately, his sister receives the brunt of Garrett’s attempts at family domination. She will often comment about how she doesn’t like him much but then carefully add that she loves him but that it’s hard being his sister. Thankfully their relationship has taken a turn for the better in the last two weeks or so and they are beginning to have as many positive interactions throughout the day as negative and are starting to really play together. All of my parenting techniques, theories and patience have been worn thin by this little boy. But despite this, I love him with all my heart. His sweet nature is so apparent and he is a loving and giving boy who’s empathy is really starting to blossom. He is beginning to treasure and love his sister and despite his behavior towards her sometimes, he can not stand when she is not with us. He calls her “nana” (his attempt at saying Camden) and is sad whenever she is not with us. He is beginning to worry and cry when she is upset and tries to make her feel better. He also wants to do everything Camden does. He even decided he wanted to ride a horse despite his initial terror over them because Camden loved riding so much.



Garrett has so many quirks it is hard to know where to start. He has developed a hate of “tags” and will not allow one to be in his shirt or on most objects for that matter. Even during his Birthday party he made his dad cut of a “tag” on one of the gift bags. He is a funny blend of liking “boy” and “girl” things. He turns every available object into a gun (including alphabet letters and veggie booty) yet at the same time begs to wear Camden’s dresses, butterfly tattoo’s and prefers to sleep with pink blankets. He even asks for pink nail polish. Of course Camden and I find this hilarious and often oblige him with his requests. He will hate us for this someday, I’m sure.  His favorite color is orange and he takes great joy in any object he finds or owns that is “ownge”.


Garrett loves musical instruments and especially likes the drums and guitar. He likes to color and paint and his favorite food in the world is candy. Meal wise he loves things with a lot of flavor. He enjoys spaghetti (with rice noodles) and beef stew. Development wise he is really in a big growth phase right now. His expressive language has been exploding the last two weeks and he is repeating much of what we say and is learning new words every day. He is learnings his colors and wants to do everything the big kids do. He learned how to peddle a bike yesterday, on his Birthday. He is fully potty trained now, both during the day and night. We have weaned him from nursing at night but he still wakes up anyway. I am hoping he will start truly sleeping through the night within the next 2-3 months. He is still nursing and though I would prefer to be done with our nursing relationship I am waiting until we can get a vitamix to make sure he is getting enough nutrition.

Garrett continues to have serious allergies to many foods. Though his reactions have greatly reduced in frequency he is continuing to lose foods. He is currently allergic to: wheat, dairy, egg, soy, peanut, nuts, sunflower seed, sesame seed and dogs. Recently he has come up allergic to rice all though we have not removed it from his diet at this point because we are not seeing any reaction from the rice and his diet is all ready so limited. Feeding Garrett is definitely a huge challenge all though I am getting more used to it. What is frustrating is the things he can eat sometimes are quite ridiculous. It makes me mad that he can eat things like french fries, all manner of candy, soda, chips, sugar cereal like Lucky Charms and Cocoa Puffs but I can not give him an egg or a piece of bread. I have had to let go of my concern for many foods not because I have changed my mind on whether or not they are healthy or good for you but out of necessity and a concern for his quality of life. For example I did not have the money, time or energy to find and edible recipe for a wheat free, egg free, soy free, dairy free, seed free Birthday cake. So instead, I made him a rice crispy treat cake chock full of corn syrup, petroleum based dyes and all manner of artificial flavors. But it was delicious, he loved it and it was simple. I’ve just had to learn to let go, some. He eats way too much candy and french fries for a kid his age or for any kid for that matter but you try telling your child day in and day out, “No. Not for Garrett. That will make you sick.” It’s hard and frustrating. I do my best to get high quality whole foods in him but sometimes it just doesn’t work that way. I am so excited to be saving for a Vitamix blender that I plan on using to increase the amount of vegetables in his diet since he refuses pretty much any vegetable besides corn, carrots and potatoes.

For his Birthday this year we had an Elmo themed party. I’m not quite sure how he has become so fond of Elmo since he has never seen Sesame Street but he recognized Elmo in the dollar store the other day and we had leftover Elmo party supplies from Camden’s 1st Birthday. He was sooooo happy when he woke up from his nap to find an Elmo party. He also has Elmo sheets now that one of Mike’s friends from work gave us and he loves having them. We had a spaghetti dinner for him (one of his favorite meals) and I made him a Rice Crispy cake with Dots and sprinkles on top. We also had ice-cream sundae’s for everyone else. To make the cake I used Spectrum Vegetable shortening which is made of palm oil rather than soy based shortenings. You can not tell a difference in flavor or texture and it is delicious.

Despite how challenging these first two years have been for me I would not trade raising Garrett for anything. He has required me to rise above my fears, selfishness and insecurities in order to be a better mom and a better person. I am a less judgmental and more forgiving person because of him. His love, precious hugs and kisses, laughter and sense of humor bring so much joy and entertainment to our family. His presence in our family has given me greater spiritual strength and faith.

Garrett Michael Reid, we love you with all our hearts.

It’s taken me a long time to find the desire and time to post on the blog again but I am finally starting to get there. On June 14th, 2010 we lost our baby. It was a difficult loss but we were prepared for it when we were not able to find the heartbeat and subsequently nothing on ultrasound. My body finally recognized what was going on and I naturally miscarried around what would have been 16 weeks of pregnancy all though the ultrasound technician believes our baby stopped developing at 8 weeks. We opted to miscarry naturally, and it did happen, but I wound up with a serious hemorrhage due to a retained placenta and was rushed to the ER via ambulance for an emergency D&C. It was a pretty scary experience. The amount of blood was overwhelming. There were times, especially in the ambulance, where I had fleeting moments of worry on whether or not I would make it through…especially when they hooked me up with all the wires and pulled out the defibrillator and had it ready.

This is the second child we have lost and it only gets emotionally overwhelming when I think of the fact that only half of our children are living. It is both a thought that makes me thankful and grateful for the two precious and wonderful beings we’ve been entrusted with and also sad and grieving for the two that we will not get to share this lifetime with.

Spiritually I am doing fine with it all. I trust in God’s plan, his love, kindness and mercy. I am not angry or bitter all though I do wonder “why”? But then I just let go and decide I don’t need to know why.

I still haven’t picked a name for the baby we’ve lost but I would like to share a song that brings me great comfort. During my pregnancy the kids and I came across a lullaby CD that became the one that we listen to every night as they go to sleep. There was one particular song that I really loved and planned on singing to our new baby when it was born. Now every time I hear the song it reminds me of our precious little one that we lost but it gives me strength and peace as well. In my own mind when I sing the song I have changed the words of  “my” and “I’ll” to “His” and “He’ll” referring to our Heavenly Father.

Lullaby Sweet Baby

(lyrics adapted from Michael Poirier’s Tumbleweed CD)

Lullaby sweet baby, lullaby little one

Though our time together has just begun

The wind outside is blowing but your safe now in His arms

Lullaby sweet baby He’ll keep you from harm.

Right outside the window is the new moon on the rise

I can see it’s reflection shining clear in your eyes

Lullaby sweet baby, lullaby little one

Though our time together has just begun

The wind outside is blowing but your safe now in His arms

Lullaby sweet baby He’ll keep you from harm.

Right outside the window is the new moon on the rise

I can see it’s reflection shining clear in your eyes


Lullaby sweet baby, lullaby little one

Though our time together is just begun

The wind outside is blowing but your safe now in His arms

Lullaby sweet baby, He’ll keep you from harm.

Lullaby sweet baby, He’ll keep you from harm.

Oh, lullaby sweet baby, He’ll keep you from harm.


Ironically, it is days like today when the loss is hardest. We had a wonderful and beautiful day celebrating Garrett’s 2nd Birthday today. It was such a perfect day but experiencing joys like this with our kids makes it only that much more painful knowing that the two we have lost we can not share those experiences with. I found myself in tears at the end of this evening just realizing that there would be no joyous Birthday celebrations, that there were missing squeals and shouts of joys and overzealous laughter as all the kids go tromping through the house, even that there would be no tears to wipe away. I know that they are spared so much of this life that is bitter and difficult but I ache for the experiences I can not have with them or that their siblings can not have with them. I am thankful for eternity, for God’s marvelous plan of salvation and the blessing of eternal families.

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